Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
