guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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