I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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