like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
