The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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