I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
What a dumb baby whore.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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