Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
