shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
