Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
