She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
