i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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