I think im going to throw up on grandma
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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