She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
