Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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