Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
