why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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