dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
