You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
