it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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