Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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