Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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