take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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