There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
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