when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
