thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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