I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize