I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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