I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
