dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
