I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
