The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
