ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
