hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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