Midget sex pt 2 tonight
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
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