I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
