Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
