no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize