In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
