Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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