Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
