onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
