I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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