apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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