She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
