I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
