I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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