I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
