Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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