So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I think i got beer on your cat.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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