32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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