i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
