i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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