Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You dont lie about slip and slides
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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