You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize