i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
