smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize